Life after 28

 

I always saw 28 as the age when I would feel like an adult.

My Mum and Dad had me at 28, and in my head, 28 was the finishing line for my youth and the starting gun for my grown up, sophisticated life. 

I naively imagined waking up on the morning of this specific birthday, feeling like I had my shit together. That couldn't be further from the truth! 

My shit is by no means 'apart', but I certainly am not where I thought I'd be...

If you had asked me years ago what I'd be doing when I was 28 I would have told you something like the following:

'I will be well travelled, I will have a husband, I will be super established in my career, I will have a hand picked group of amazing friends, I will have experienced all of the things I've wanted to experience, and I will be planning my first child'. 

Obviously, this isn't quite how it turned out...not that I'm complaining. I am embracing what life has thrown my way, with every bit of love and positivity I can muster. Always. But occasionally I get a sense of panic. 

It is no secret that I have suffered with anxiety and depression. I never want to make it a secret as I think the more people talk about it the more accepted it will be. But, with that in mind, I do occasionally feel a sense of panic that my life isn't quite where I hoped it would be, or where I felt it should be. What is a necessity is the ability to turn an unexpected situation into a positive one, so I'm going to put that in writing!

1. I've lost friends who I love and miss= but I've gained new ones who I love so much as well and who bring so much joy to my life.

2. I had to stop for a little while career wise when I had Sid = I took a year out of teaching when I could have been working upwards, but in that time I started my own small business which does very well considering it is now a part time venture.

3. I am not married = weddings are fucking expensive but I'm engaged and that's enough for now so tough shit.

4. I will be well travelled = I may have missed a few countries off my list but I will be able to see them some day and I will appreciate them all the more for it. I've been to some incredible places - the world isn't going anywhere - unless North Korea has their way, but that's another story! 

5. I will be planning my first child = I don't need to plan because we made the most perfect little boy (even if he throws enormous tantrums sometimes) and all the planning in the world couldn't have prepared me for my child being so special and wonderful and loved. I couldn't have planned a better son if I'd tried. 

A quote that resounds in my head anytime I feel a little like I've not accomplished the things I would have hoped to have accomplished by this age, is this:

'Don't stress the could haves. If it should have, it would have'. 

I always find that for every plan we make, life throws 20 curve balls in our direction, and it's inevitable that one of them will hit us so my new motto will be: 'when life throws you a curve ball - catch it'. 

I think that'll take me nicely through year 29.